That same old feeling(s). Frustration, anger, irritability. A constant internal dialogue of inner criticism and a borderline abusive use of of this criticism to remind yourself; just how badly you do things and how wrong you can get it. Anxiety, that buzzing and racing stream of thoughts; impending responsibility, overwhelming fear, shame or embarassment for minor indiscretions or a spelling error on a group email! Resentment, why do you always have to do all of the things you do and why do you get nothing in return from people? When did you become that guy or girl who has a note stuck to their forehead that says “ask me, I’ll do it”. Why are you always dragged along in other peoples plans, and have to bite your lip and just get on with it? Overwhelmed, overloaded with all of the above acting out behaviour seems like fair game – getting too drunk, pursuing casual sex, taking drugs, snapping at people, pushing back at authority, blowing a gasket, calling in sick, getting depressed, having irrational thoughts.
Have you ever broken a tooth? It’s a pretty uncomfortable thing to happen as an adult. You have to put up with it rattling in your head until that dentist appointment the next day or in two days if its at the weekend. You’d never dream of trying to fix it yourself – you are literally counting the hours until you can get the professional help you need. We act so quickly when we have physical pain, its a reflexive thing. Why do we leave mental health issues like all of the strong emotions we can feel on a daily basis that negatively impact on our lives on the long finger? Lingering on, growing, compounding and dragging us down. It’s complex – but in a nutshell we allow ourselves to endure some of this stuff because we learned some of it along the way and it is familiar or normal to us, however uncomfortable it is. Some things we pick up we tell ourselves that it is helpful, like criticism helps you get things right and living in the fast lane makes us productive. These kinds of dialogues are so interesting, as they act to serve and maintain the things in our life that can cause us so much grief. It’s like an addiciton of sorts, as we fear stepping into an alternative, or don’t believe there even is one, or maybe we simply have not considered it.
If we left every broken tooth or bone, or ache or pain or flu or cold on the long finger and did not apply care and consideration at those moments, our life would be absolutely miserable. You don’t have to reach a critical mass, becoming overwhelmed can be helped. The decision to do this comes from you. Taking the steps as you would for physical ailments for your mental health is within your remit. Understanding that all of the above emotions are normal and it’s just how we interact with them that needs some work. Counselling and Psychotherapy is not just a space to talk, it is a space and process to help you redefine your relationship with the human experience. It’s a place where you can make enormous tangible change in your life, inside and outside of the room. Getting started should not require life and your psychological experience to have become untenable.
If you want to take these things on and engage with a professional, then it’s time. You’ll thank yourself once you realise how much power you hold in the struggles you have, and you just need support and guidance through the mist into a clearing – a clearing you deserve.
Expression and being real, bearing the intensity of feeling, softening our relationship with ourselves, finding our internal locus of control, sitting in our disturbance and realising we can be here and do not need to flee, shifting perspectives, realising our value, owning our humanity, going out and taking our place in the world, individuation, actualizing. This is the work.
Our team of dedicated counsellors and therapists are passionate about helping their clients, help themselves.
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